Lessons Learned From Developing Mentor-Mentee Relationships

I could not just tell you about the benefits and great things about mentoring without sharing the troubles I have encountered both as a mentor and mentee.

As a mentor, I had to realize that I serve as a mentor, not a licensed counselor, some of the problems my mentees face are beyond me and that's okay. However, those experiences allowed me to understand what areas I can serve in and what areas I cannot serve in. I had to be honest with myself and know when to point them in the direction of someone who can better assist them.

As a mentor, I have lost mentees too, quite honestly it is not the best feeling in the world. Those lessons taught me that some mentor-mentee relationships are not forever, I have served my purpose in their life and they have served their purpose in my life. I have also lost mentee due to misalignment and miscommunication. I was not asking the right questions in establishing the mentor-mentee relationship only to find out that there were expectations that were expected of me, that I was not aware of.

As a mentee, I have had the opportunity to be in great mentoring programs. Although the intentions of matching me with a mentor may have been great, there were instances where I felt that the relationship was forced. The chemistry was off and the mentor-mentee relationship was temporary and that is okay too.

To avoid a waste of time as a mentee, when I am seeking someone out to be my mentor its chemistry, it's confirming it is not forced. The relationship organically grows into a mentor-mentee relationship.

To make sure I am aligned with a mentee specifically, I ask questions for clarification and understanding. Questions that I now ask and I encourage you to ask when you are approached by someone who wants you to be their mentor: (also keep in mind the generations that you are better able to serve) For me, I serve college students, so my questions are geared specifically toward college students.

What is your major?

What are your expectations?

Are you an only child? Do you have siblings?

What is it that you would like to learn from me?

How can I assist you?

Are you active in organizations?

At some point in the conversation, I ask these questions or as they are telling me about themselves they answer these questions along the way.

It is important to understand that mentor-mentee relationships should be mutually beneficial for both the mentor and the mentee. Both should be developed in the process.

How are you developing your mentor-mentee relationships? What questions are you asking before establishing your mentor-mentee relationships?

Can't wait to read your answers below Kings and Queens.