Maintaining Peace


I Said Yes to maintaining my peace. My second trimester in graduate school, I told myself "enough was enough". My frustration came as a result of experiencing microaggressions during my first trimester. It was realizing that diversity and inclusion meant to some people, "yes be different and have a seat at the table but your voice or opinions aren't welcomed." After going through that for some months and realizing what was going on. Enough was enough! I realized that my physical and emotional well being was unstable from the tears, panic attacks, and hyperventilation.  In those moments I realized that I was striving to be accepted and I was failing miserably. 

I remember speaking with one of the deans at one of the schools and she looked me in my eyes and told me, "You are a leader and you cannot hide that. You are spinning your wheels because you are fighting every battle that comes your way, learn to  be quiet and observe people body languages."

I made up in my mind that if it cost me my peace it was too expensive, so when I was approached with a specific task or question or by someone- and if their energy or what they were asking me took up to much of my energy. I would politely say, "I am just trying to maintain peace."

It is a quote that states, " peace it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work, it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart" I started to create boundaries for myself and I learned that the only way to be calm in my heart was to seek God. 

So when I finally SAID YES TO MAINTAINING MY PEACE. I said yes to being strategic in the battles that I fight. I said yes to not losing sight of God as he is my anchor. I said yes to understand the power of my silence. I said yes to listening to what people are saying but paying attention to their body language. 

Saying yes to maintaining peace is ongoing, I have to make up in my mind that I will be calm in my spirit and heart and that I will allow God to be my anchor. This journey has been a year and a half later, more than anything I am glad I said yes to maintaining peace for it has sustained me.