As I’ve been pondering why self-control is listed last, I’m reminded of Pastor Tony Evans’ definition of love—compassionately, righteously, and sacrificially pursuing the well-being of another. When I filter my responses through that lens, I realize that loving well sometimes requires sacrificing what I want to say. Not because I’m wrong. Not because my feelings aren’t hurt. But because choosing restraint is more sacrificial—and in that moment, laying it down makes me look more like Jesus than winning an argument ever could.

Allow this guide to help you win in your responses